Raising Boys!

3 min read

Deviation Actions

themoonkid's avatar
By
Published:
1.2K Views
I was searching the net for good reads when I saw this:  

---

Raising Boys!

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

-A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep

-If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

-A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

-If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.

-It is strong enough, however if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

-You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

-When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

-A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

-The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

-When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

-Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

-A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

-Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

-Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

-Super glue is forever.

-No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

-Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

-VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

-Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

-Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

-You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

-Always look in the oven before you turn it on;

-plastic toys do not like ovens.

-The fire department in Austin, Texas has a 5-minute response time.

-The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

-It will, however, make cats dizzy.

-Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

---  

This heightened my respect to mothers particularly to my mother having many sons, our father at work and without any nanny to back her up.

And I personally wouldn't want to know what that odor is!^^

(redroom.com/member/ron-culvera…)
© 2012 - 2024 themoonkid
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In