I was searching the net for good reads when I saw this:
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Raising Boys!
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
-A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep
-If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
-A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
-If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
-It is strong enough, however if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
-You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
-When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
-A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
-The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
-When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
-Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
-A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
-Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
-Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
-Super glue is forever.
-No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
-Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
-VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
-Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
-Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
-You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
-Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
-plastic toys do not like ovens.
-The fire department in Austin, Texas has a 5-minute response time.
-The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
-It will, however, make cats dizzy.
-Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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This heightened my respect to mothers particularly to my mother having many sons, our father at work and without any nanny to back her up.
And I personally wouldn't want to know what that odor is!^^
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